He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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