I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
