And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
