i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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