Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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