capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't deserve a penis
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
