but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
