You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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