on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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