Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
