oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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