you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
