she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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