90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
