Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
