doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
