I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
