How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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