My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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