didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He passed out mid-signature
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize