his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
