super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
