After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
