i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
