After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's shark week go big or go home
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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