Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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