so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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