Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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