A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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