So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
