Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
