I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
