i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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