Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
