dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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