This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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