But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Houston, we have a squirter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
