Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
