I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
