Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
