...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
