dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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