Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize