just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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