I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
