This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
