My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize