I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
