awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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