I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
