I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
only you would photoshop your dick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
