What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
