sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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