I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize