I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
