ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
