is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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