the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
