It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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