your parents love me but you hate me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
