I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
