I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize